Real Conversations

So last night boyfriend and I decided to go grocery shopping because he wanted me to make him a pie (which was delicious thank you very much!) And we ended up going full on grocery shopping, doesn’t that always happen, though? You go to the store for paper towels and end up buying all of the things?? Anywho while we were there I saw Christmas tree shaped zebra cakes, which he loves. So I showed him the cakes and ended up putting them back on a random shelf. About half an hour after we got home we had this conversation…

Boyfriend: I want some zebra cakes.

Me: Are you kidding me I asked you if you wanted them!

But I didn’t say no.

You didn’t say anything. I showed them to you and asked if you wanted them and you asked me if I wanted them and I said I didn’t care but I thought you would and you said you didn’t know so I put them on the shelf and then you said ‘those don’t go there.’

Exactly! Because they ‘go’ in the cart!

So why didn’t you put them in the cart then?

But you were supposed to.

Then I made him a strawberry pie, his favorite, and all is right with the world. When they make a sitcom about my life someday it will be hilarious!

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Spoiler Alert: Your Favorite Show Sucks

I watched the season 6 premiere of True Blood so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

WOW oh wow where to start… reincarnated Bill is on a war path. Sookie, Eric and the gang get away but just barely and see Bill shoot off into the sky. Whaat? Pam and Eric’s sister-lover are arguing in the car so he pulls over near a darkened bridge. Meanwhile, Sam, the other shifter lady and her daughter are running away from something but the lady is dying so she tells Sam to save her daughter, aww! I can’t remember what happened to them and don’t care enough to google it. MOVING ON! More arguing on the bridge, they think Bill is reincarnated as Lilleth or something and Jessica is suuuper upset about it. Pam refers to Bill as “Billeth” henceforth referred to as such. Eric’s sister-lover glamours Jason to tell her what he knows about Warlo (the vampire that killed his and Sookie’s parents) because he’s also mentioned in the vamp bible because he’s Lilleth’s progeny duh. Suddenly, Billeth summons Jessica and Eric tried to hold her back so she starts vomiting blood (very original). Sookie says she’ll take Jess, who at this point appears to be leaking, to see Billeth. Jason ran away after he was “brain raped” (his words) by the sister lover and he says Sookie is as dead to him as they are. Is it just me or is Jason a little cray cray? First he hates vampires then he’s addicted to their blood then he goes to vampire hating church then he hooks up with Jessica and now he hates them again? I don’t know, Jason, how are we supposed to keep up with you?! Cut to a bunch of werewolves feasting on a dead human. Apparently Arms is the new pack master and he looks a little menacing although the details of how this happened are fuzzy to me. I guess they’re high on vamp blood. Also, why do all the lady werewolves have long flowing hair that perfectly cover their nipples? The red head is wearing a tank top that is roughly the same shade as her hair. Andy Belflour has a baby? What has happened? Why can’t I remember what happened in the last season?? Oh nevermind it was the fairy’s creepy fast growing spawn, got it. So now, the Belflours have 3 adults and 4 children living in the same home. Just to keep count 1 of those babies might be a demon and another might be a fairy. Got it. Sam and the little werechild get to his bar where Lafayette is looking fabulous and holding a rifle, naturally. Ohhhh I think the dead shifter lady died because she shifted into a human one too many times–they flashed back to her shifting into that preacher turned gay vampire guy… that’s how Sam’s brother died too, remember? Although he was also beat to shit so that may have had something to do with his death. Oh my god!! Jason just got into a car with some seedy looking character. Did he learn nothing in elementary school? Don’t get into a car with a stranger! Oh wait, they don’t seem to give a shit about personal safety in this show. Case in point: Sookie and Jess arrive at Billeth’s house armed with only a broken stick against the most powerful vampire on earth right now, smart. Eric comes out of nowhere and attacks Billeth who easily overpowers him BUT Sookie stakes Bill right in the heart. And he survives! Dun dun dun… he “just wants to talk” sure Bill, thanks for the reassurance. Jessica sides with Billeth and tells everyone to leave. Next! 3 people I don’t recognize (except for the one I saw in the beginning of this episode) are talking in what looks like a high school science lab. It’s really boring so I’ll spare you the details… something about… no screw it I don’t care I’m gonna go get some apple juice, Simply Apple to be specific. Boyfriend leaves his windows and balcony door open most of the time and so far tonight I’ve seen a spider, a few gnats, a wasp, and a couple moths… it’s very distracting. Back to the stoner werewolves, blood stoners that is. Arms and some super hot naked chick are making out in the woods and then his girlfriend walks up and instead of getting mad, she joins and says “I’m your number one bitch, you hear me?” Seems reasonable. Sookie is the single most insufferable person currently on tv and in real life and I realize the Kardashians and Bill O’Reilly are in the running but my god I can’t stand her. OMG there wasn’t just one fairy baby! There were 4! And now they’re suddenly toddlers… wtf?? And now poor Billeth doesn’t understand why all these strange things are happening to him. Boo fucking hoo.

So to sum up, Bill is fucked two ways from Tuesday, Sookie is a grotsky little beotch, Alcide is packmaster and involved in a threesome, Eric is mean to Pam Pam is mean to Tara, Andy Belflour is the proud (terrified) parent of a handful of rapidly growing fairies, Jason was kidnapped by a ghost who turned out to be Warlo the vampire he was after all along!, and Sam still owns his bar, although that business can’t possibly be profitable. The best part of this show is the intro music.

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I see paying attention isn’t really your thing…

My name is Rachael. It’s tricky, I know. There’s an extra vowel in there that just confuses everything. My parents had a thing for breaking the norms even though my sisters and I all have very common names–Brandi instead of Brandy, Jaime instead of Jamie and Rachael instead of Rachel. Rachel has been in the top 200 names for new babies since 1880 in the US (except for 1951, 1958 & 1959 at 202, 201 & 201, respectively). People see the name Rachel a lot, so I get it, you hear “Rachael” and think “Rachel.” but Rachel is not my name. It’s Rachael and I feel very strongly about that. People have been misspelling my name since before I can remember. There was a time when I was in elementary school that my mom had to meet with one of my teachers because she spelled my name wrong so frequently that I started spelling my own name wrong because I didn’t know teachers were allowed to be wrong about things, even my name.

I can get over seeing my name spelled wrong sometimes. It’s even spelled wrong on my paychecks from my part-time because I haven’t bothered correcting the accounting department even though they must have gotten that information from, I don’t know, the W-2 that I filled out. But what really grinds my gears is when someone responds to an email I sent with my name spelled incorrectly. I sent you an email, you saw it, you replied, you should know to match your response to the email that I sent. This was particularly annoying because the email came from the accountant for my full-time job which means that she sees my name pretty regularly. It’s really not a big deal, and I won’t correct her because meh. But honestly, take a second and look at the email you’re replying to because I would assume most people spell their own name correctly… unless of course they are 8 and their teachers spells it wrong…

I know it’s easy to miss… it only says my name several times throughout this correspondence…

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Good news… everyone’s screwed, not just me.

I read an article yesterday called Are the Millennials the Screwed Generation?. Now I’m sad. Because I already knew everything written in it besides the specific numbers. I already knew it all because I feel it. I’m buried in student loan debt because I went to a D1 school whose tuition went up 6-9% every year so that the football players could take Photography for non-Art majors and go home and do lines of coke off the bare stomachs of new freshmen girls. I earn an hourly wage doing something I could have done fresh out of high school with a little bit of training. I’d like to send my loan bills to my parents, my mother especially, who would not hear of my not going to college. She didn’t go to college and it held her back. I did go to college but I’m not much better off for it.

I gotta say I’m tired of having this conversation:

Whoever I just met: Oh so are you in school now? — (because I look and sound like I’m 16)

Me: No, I actually graduated from CU two years ago.

Oh really? Well that’s great congratulations! What did you study?

Oh I studied journalism.

Wow that’s great! So are you working as a journalist now?

No I’m working in real estate right now.

Oh. Well, good for you. How’s the market these days?

It’s picking up.

I hate this conversation because it’s filled with insincere interest in my life, pity and my own softening what I’m really feeling. No one is acknowledging how bad it really is. I had exactly ONE interview for a job in the field I studied. It was super entry level and while I was in the top three candidates, I didn’t get it. I was so incredibly disappointed because of all the dozens of resumes I sent out, I felt like that was my one shot to work in journalism. My parents wanted my to go to college because for them, a college degree was everything. Without it, they stood no chance of finding a decent job. Now college degrees are so common that the driving force in the working world has become experience. If you have no experience, you can’t get a job. Period. How are you supposed to get experience if you can’t get a job? Fuck if I know. I hate real estate, but it’s a field I have experience in because I’ve been working in it in many capacities for six years. I found myself in this niche and I honestly don’t know how to get myself out of it. Shit. I mean… if you know anyone that wants to buy or sell a house, I welcome your referrals… ah fuck it.

Categories: my life, Uncategorized, we're screwed., work | Tags: | 1 Comment

Nastier bruise

Just in case you were wondering what became of that giant scrape… Eww!


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Live and Learn

There’s something interesting about reading a book that was written a few decades ago.  I’ve never read a Mary Higgins Clark book before.  Funny since I love reading and she and Carol Higgins Clark are such iconic female writers.  Now I know why.  I recently read A Cry in the Night by Mary Higgins Clark.  The story was absolutely well written.  That said, the value of this type of story was lost on me.  This book is supposed to be a suspense type thriller, but I just wasn’t feeling it.  I knew almost immediately what was sure to happen.  Some details were surprising, but it was largely predictable.  Within the first 10 pages of the book, I wanted to take the main character by her shoulders and shake her senseless.  What kind of self-respecting, New York, single, working mother would fall for and marry someone who is so obviously controlling, manipulative and just plain creepy?!  Ugh, my inner feminist wept.

Then I started thinking, that if this book was written in 1982, the storyline was actually pretty time appropriate.  I forget that women decades ago experienced a struggle so that I don’t have to.  Divorced, single, two kids, trying to survive every day in a one bedroom apartment in New York City with your skeezy ex-husband always asking to “borrow” money.  How many women was this true for?  And how difficult it must have been.  In walks a rich, successful, charming artist who adores you.  Yea, I guess that would have been pretty easy to fall for in a different time.  And to be fair, Jenny, the main character, remains pretty composed throughout considering everything she goes through.  That is something I can definitely respect.

Categories: book review, Reading, Suspense, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Great Intentions, Poor Execution

I have a habit of starting projects and never finishing them (like that bookshelf I picked up for free in an alley and was going to paint and decorate and make lovely… Or the 700 other blogs I’ve started) or coming up with great ideas and never pursuing them (remember that time I was going to study abroad? Join the peacecorps? Culinary school? It’s embarrassing how many more I can think of on the spot so the list stops there…)

Unfortunately, people have started to catch on…

My best friend (who lives in Illinois) and I have planned many trips to take together that never happen. We recently started another idea and she basically said she likes thinking about all these trips even though she knows it’ll never happen.

My brother in law showed me a blog post of his that indirectly calls me out for wanting to do certain things with my life yet I’m just lazy when I get home from work.

And my younger sister just the other day said I shouldn’t buy the domain name for this very blog because “will you even be interested in it for long?” I dont know what bothered me more, how brazenly she said it or how true it really is.

I wish I could say these are the only examples of my lack of follow through but alas… I suck at finishing.

So I’ve decided not to tell anyone about this new venture until I gauge how serious I am about it (sad but necessary).

I have recently come to the realization that not everything I do has to have a direct impact on my future. This may seem strange because I feel like a lot of people already knew this, I didn’t. But now I know I can do things for the sake of doing something I enjoy. That’s the point of this blog. What will I be writing about? I’m not really sure yet. What will I be wearing when I to go out to dinner with my friends next week? Equally unanswerable… I change my mind a lot.

I have this tattoo on my side that says, “Oh Reckless Abandon, like no one’s watching you” It’s from one of my favorite songs (Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap). I think the message is beautiful and something we often forget. Live with reckless abandon, as if no one is watching. Anywho, that’s the real point of all this. I love writing… I have a degree in journalism and one of my favorite classes of both high school and college was my creative writing class. So now, I’m going to blog and write… like no one’s reading.

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