Why didn’t you tell me?!

Probably about a year or so ago I asked my dad why he never told me how hard it sucks being an adult. He said, “You would never have believed me.” Such a copout answer, albeit, true.

I’m the person that did the right things and made the right choices (most of the time) throughout college. First of all I went to college which is what young adults are supposed to do. I worked nearly full time to pay my own way through school. AND I worked in an office to gain professional experience instead of being like everyone else and working a shit job in a restaurant, coffee shop, retail store, etc. I took 15 credit hour semesters and graduated only a summer semester late (because of an internship required for my major). I hope that sounded as boring as it felt to write.

Truthfully, I regret some of my decisions in college but in a different way than I think most people do. I never went on spring break. How sad is that? I was always working through my holidays which means I don’t have stories about coming back from a trip with stories a tattoo I got while drunk or having sex with a stranger in some exotic place. I had a boyfriend throughout college too so I never dated around. I never really learned who I was until later on. I feel like I missed out on what should have been some of the most fun times of my life being too boring and too responsible.

The point of all that is that making bad decisions in college is what should happen, because you learn from them and become who you are. Making equally bad decisions as an adult has gotten me into several thousand dollars of credit card debt (not to mention many, many, many thousands of dollars of student loan debt which is especially awesome since I’m not actually using my degree), a shitty car I can’t afford to replace, a puppy when I can, frankly, barely take care of myself, almost zero career aspirations and did I mention that I don’t actually live anywhere specifically? That last part is true.

Since college I have started and quit several jobs which have all been in the same field of work as one of my current jobs. I’ve put a significant amount of money into that job but it turns out I actually really do not enjoy real estate. Who knew? The job I’ve had that I’ve enjoyed the most is catering. My boyfriend works for a catering company in Boulder called A Spice of Life, which you should totally hire for your next event. Anywho, like any other menial serving job, the pay isn’t great but I really like working here. I like the people I’ve gotten to know and one of the higher-ups recently told me that my hard work is appreciated and they’ve been getting good feedback about me. That was the first work-related thing that has made me truly happy in a really long time — maybe ever to be honest.

Maybe I didn’t miss out. Maybe I won’t be one of those people that looks back at life and says “Man, those were the days!” Maybe this is just a rough couple years. Maybe I’ll get to enjoy the rest of my life without wishing I was somewhere in the past. Maybe someday I’ll get to travel and do all the things I wish I could have done already but with a greater appreciate of what I’m experiencing. Maybe I’m not meant to do things the way that I’m supposed to but rather the way that makes me me.

Maybe I can still look forward to better things.

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Categories: my life | Leave a comment

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